Until Death And After
by Cheese Bun
Summary: HPSS - Harry is at a funeral he doesn't want to be at. An accident happens and he finds himself back at his seventh year at Hogwarts. COMPLETE
1. The Funeral

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: This _**IS**_ a HP/SS Fic. There is a bit of HP/DM, so if you aren't into this kind of stuff, don't read it. So, let me know what you think and enjoy!  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter One:**_ The Funeral  
_  
I stood in the rain and stared at the coffin above the ground. An umbrella was opened above my head. Draco Malfoy stood beside me holding up the umbrella. "You looked a little wet Potter," he chuckled.  
"Thanks," I tried to smile at him.  
We stood in silence for a while. The rain beat against the umbrella above us. "How's the family?" he asked, breaking the silence.  
"Fine," I lied. She left with the kids a year before. "What about yours?"  
He laughed. "What family?" he looked hurt for a moment, but then turned back to his normal grin.  
We were quiet again. "Did you bring something to put on the grave?" he asked.  
I shook my head. "I couldn't decide what. I just brought some flowers," I said.  
"I brought one of my report cards," he chuckled and handed me the umbrella.  
I held onto it while he bent over and set his report card beside the gravestone. "Creative," I said when he stood back up beside me, close beside me.  
He looked over at me. "Do you know how he died?" he asked.  
I awkwardly cleared my throat. "I'm not sure. I heard a lot of different things," I said. His gray eyes looked into me. "I heard suicide."  
Draco nodded and looked away. "Me too," he said. He took the umbrella from me. "Why do you think he'd do something like that?"  
I shook my head. "I... I don't know," I said. I held in tears.  
Draco seemed to notice and put his arm around me. I felt myself tense up. What was it about him that made me nervous? "It's going to be okay," he said.  
"Is it?" I asked. "We ended on a sour note, and now I feel terrible."  
He squeezed my shoulder as my sorrow turned to tears. "Can I ask what happened?" he asked.  
"I... don't remember," I fell to my knees. I ran my hands against the damp grass. "I can't remember what started it, but he got me in trouble so I could talk to him. I didn't know what to say to him. We argued about stuff that I still can't remember and... well... we graduated. So, I never saw him again."  
Draco put his hand on my head. "You didn't go back to visit?"  
I shrugged. "I doubted he wanted me to visit," I stood back up and wiped my face against my sleeve.  
"Do you blame yourself?" his arm found a place behind my back again.  
"I'll sound arrogant if I say yes," I said.  
He chuckled. "So then you do?" he asked.  
"I don't know. I just seem so small. I doubt he ever had a second thought about me, but... if I did contribute... I'd do anything to change the things I said," I said.  
He smirked. "Wanna borrow my time turner?" he laughed.  
"Yeah, right," I smiled at him.  
I set down the roses and looked to Draco for some sort of guidance. "Are you going to be all right?" he asked.  
I nodded. "Yeah I should be fine," I said.  
"I've got to go back to work then. I'm on my lunch hour," he nudged me. "How come lunch hours are only 35 minutes these days?"  
I smiled at him. "It doesn't seem fair," I said.  
"I'll see you around Potter," he said and walked off with the umbrella.  
I stared at the words carved into the tombstone. It read, Severus Snape. I shook my head and started to walk anywhere I could. I crossed at a stop sign. I looked up into the rain. "Hey! Watch out," I heard from the distance.  
I turned my head in time to see a car hit me. "Hey, are you okay?" the man's voice grew distant.  
"Harry!" Draco was somewhere around as well.  
My vision was nothing, but darkness, and voices were replaced with a silence. I couldn't even hear the rain.

* * *

I lifted my head up and started to rub it. "Mr. Potter? I'm glad you joined us," I opened my eyes to see Severus Snape looking at me.  
"What? What happened?" I looked around.  
He sighed and looked around the classroom. "Ten points from Gryffindor, and I think some detention will help the situation," he said.  
Draco Malfoy laughed from his side of the room. "Smooth Potter," he laughed.  
I turned to see Ron Weasley beside me. "Are you all right Harry?" he asked.  
"Ron?" I hadn't seen him for years. "I don't know."  
I recognized the situation. It looked like I was in my potions class during my seventh year at Hogwarts. Am I dead? 


	2. Head Pains

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: In case you didn't catch it, Snape was the one that died. If it gets kind of confusing, it's supposed to be don't worry. Harry is thinking and I write it into what he's doing, no italics or anything – mainly because if I was in this kind of situation I'd be pretty damn confused as well. I just want the reader to be able to relate to the character... kind of... Oh and another note this is NOT like the Butterfly Effect. I watched that movie this morning and no... that's not what I'm doing with this. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Two:**_ Head Pains  
_  
"Can we continue Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.  
I nodded and shook my head slightly. Severus Snape continued to teach as I quickly thought of what could have happened. Hermione tapped my back. Hermione? "Are you okay Harry?" she asked quietly.  
I shook my head. "Fine," I was a walking oxymoron.  
She laughed lightly. "You body doesn't think so. Are you sure?"  
I nodded this time. "Yep," I said and smiled lightly.  
She messed up my hair as I turned around. What happened in my seventh year? Why didn't I remember this? The next thing I knew class was being dismissed. Ron grabbed my arm and followed quickly behind Hermione. "Mr. Potter, where are you going?" Snape asked.  
"Next class," I said.  
Ron stared blankly at me. Snape raised an eyebrow. "This is your last class. I gave you a detention. Do you remember? Or did you fall asleep again?" he asked.  
I shook my head. "No sir, I remember," I walked away from Ron. "Sorry, sir."  
I waited for the last student to leave and then, on impulse, lunged at Snape and hugged him. "P... Potter," he shoved me off of him. He looked to make sure the door was closed. "What are you doing?"  
"You're okay," I said.  
I guessed my eyes were filling with tears. "Another nightmare Harry?" he asked and sat down.  
How did he know about my nightmares? Did he just call me Harry? He sat down at his desk and motioned for me to sit across from him. "Yeah," I said.  
Should I tell him about what just happened to me? "Feel like telling me?" he started at me with his bold eyes.  
I rubbed one of my arms. "I dreamt that me and Draco –"  
"Draco and I," he corrected.  
I rolled my eyes. "I dream that Draco and I were standing in a graveyard, and it was your tombstone. Supposedly... I mean... You died from suicide, and for some reason, I blamed myself," I said.  
He blinked for a second and seemed stunned. "I... I was in your dream?" he asked. "I know why Draco was there... but me?"  
"Well you were just referred too," I said. "Why was Draco there?"  
Snape rolled his eyes at me. "Don't be stupid Harry," he said.  
"It's hard," I said.  
"Do you want my analysis on it?" he asked.  
We were talking like we were actually friends. "Sure," I smiled at the older man.  
"Well," he seemed slightly nervous. "You could look at it in two different ways, the first being that you are worried that..."  
Quickly, I tuned out his dribble to try to decide what was actually going on. I was an adult stuck in a child form of... well... me in a situation I don't remember being in. Should I tell Severus what happened? I'm so confused. I put my head in my hands and watched the man talked. I had no idea what he was saying of course, I didn't really have a dream like that – it was my reality. It didn't matter anyway, maybe I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. He'd be dead and I'd be alive and... manically depressed, but alive. I chuckled to myself and watched Snape give me an odd look, but continued his analysis. I watched him carefully. Maybe I should just make the best of the situation that I was in. He did seem real, and Hermione's touch felt so real. When, in school, did I have long meaningless conversations with Snape? I quickly corrected myself – Severus.  
I think he noticed that I had tuned him out, since he stopped talking for a moment. His dark eyes watched me watch him. He was rather attractive... and I'm old enough. Mentally, we WERE the same age. I felt some pains shoot through my head. "Did you fall asleep again Potter?" he seemed quite frustrated with me.  
Potter? I've stepped down. "Sorry, sir," I started. "I'm afraid I'm not myself."  
He smiled lightly. "Maybe you should just get some rest," he said.  
He stood up to show me up. I watched him walk over to me. He touched my shoulder lightly. "Come on," he said.  
I stood up and looked at his hand. I felt my stomach jump at his touch, as well as the pain in my head become greater. I fell to my knees, as the pain immediately grew worse. I felt like screaming, but my throat burned. It felt like something was tearing through my head. Tears streamed down my face. Tears? Instead of the salty devils I was used too, red gobs poured off my face. Snape was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. It hurts. What was that noise? I was screaming. Was that me? I covered my ears, not wanting to hear my screams anymore. I curled myself into a ball as I felt blood pour from ears. He had his arms around me. I looked up to see Severus carrying me someplace. I wasn't screaming anymore. The more I watched him, the more the pain grew worse and worse. What was I doing? The pain was too much. I couldn't fight against it anymore. I easily knocked myself into a state of unconsciousness.

* * *

I felt my eyes open. My back was against a hard surface. Was I back on the road? I rubbed my eyes to clear the gray that was in front of my face. I heard noise around me. I was sitting in water. I listening to the swishing of waves and looked at the metal in front of me. Was I in a coffin? I touched it, causing a chill to go through my spine. It was a coffin. "Hey," I screamed. "I'm alive! Don't bury me!"  
Maybe I was underground already. Maybe the car crash killed me. I looked down at my chest carefully. I didn't have my glasses on – that's why everything was so fuzzy. I shook my head and tried to sit up. Of course, I hit my head on the ceiling. I cursed myself for being stupid. I felt the ceiling shift as Ron – young Ron – looked down at me. "Are you relaxed Harry?" he asked.  
"What the hell? I was in a fucking tin can. No Ron, I'm NOT relaxed," I said, ignoring my inner child telling me not to swear.  
He shrugged. "It's supposed to be a relaxing chamber," he said. "It was working... when you were unconscious."  
"How is that going to help?" I asked looking at the outside of the container.  
Ron laughed. "No clue. I wasn't the one that suggested it. It was just my shift because Madam Pomfrey said you might feel a little uncomfortable when you regained your consciousness."  
I stepped out of the horror dome. "A LITTLE uncomfortable? I thought you people buried me alive," I said and shivered lightly.  
"Sorry," Ron said. "I didn't think it was a good idea either."  
I shook my head. "What happened to me?" I asked.  
Ron handed me a towel. "Not a clue," he said. "Professor Snape brought you in and you were a mess. Madam Pomfrey thinks it was stress, but we don't really know. Are you feeling a bit better?"  
I'm still stuck someplace in time. No, I'm not okay. "Yeah, I think so," I said.  
He handed me my glasses. "I'll let someone know you're up."  
I sat down on the hospital bed and watched Ron walk off. I never was sick in the seventh year. "Hey Potter," Draco Malfoy walked into the room that I was in.  
Normally I'd smile an acknowledge him, but I didn't have a great relationship with him in school. "Hello Malfoy," I avoided any eye contact with him.  
He sat down beside me. We weren't friends... were we? "Are you okay?" he turned to look at me.  
I looked into his gray eyes for a moment. Did I have feelings for Malfoy too? My head stared to ache again. I looked away. "I guess," I said.  
He pulled a container from his pocket. "Here," he handed it to me.  
I took it and looked at the silver liquid inside. "What is it?" I asked.  
"It's like an aspirin. It should make you feel a little better," he said.  
I swirled the liquid around in the container. A memory flashed through my head. "Do I drink it?" I asked, hypnotized by the spinning concoction.  
He nodded. "Yeah," he said.  
When did I drink this? "Right now?"  
"If you'd like," he said.  
I shook my head. "Do you mind if I wait?" I asked. "I don't really want to set it off again," I said.  
"Sure Potter," he smiled devilishly. "See ya later."  
He touched my hand and stood. My head started to ring again as I watched him leave. He was beginning to remember the Draco I know. His hair was about shoulder-length and shaped his face nicely. I touched my ears, feeling the blood that started to seek out. I stopped thinking about him and tried to decide what I was going to do. I lay back on the bed and hoped that an answer would come to me in my sleep. 


	3. Too Close

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: This is a fan fiction about Harry and Snape. So it does involve homosexuality. This is just another warning. Anyways, I hope you like it and thanks a bunch for the reviews. It always helps.  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Three: **_Too Close  
_  
It began with nothing but darkness. Pain shot through my head, not like before, but as if I was searching for my lost memories. Draco flashed through my mind. His image grew clearer as the pain withdrew. He was talking to someone. I stepped closer, so I could observe better. Draco was talking to me... another me. I looked down at myself. I smiled as I noticed I was the man I remembered. Neither Draco nor I realized that I had approached them. "Hey Potter," Draco said, touching Young Harry's hand lightly.  
"Hi... Malfoy," I watched Harry blush bashfully.  
I didn't like Malfoy, did I? "I made a drink," he said. "Do you want some?"  
He handed Harry the silver potion. I watched my image raise an eyebrow and handed it back to Draco. "Why aren't you drinking it?" I heard Harry's young voice ask.  
Draco smiled at the suspicion. He drank about half and swallowed. He closed his eyes for a moment and handed it back to Harry. "I'm just trying to be nice," he said.  
Harry nodded nervously. "Thanks," he smiled at the boy across from him.  
Draco and I observed him quickly chug the remainder of the drink. Harry blinked for a moment and I saw him rub his head for a moment. Draco grabbed his arm. "Are you all right Potter?" he asked.  
Harry nodded and then took Draco's hand off of him. "Yeah Malfoy, fine. What the hell are you doing here anyway," he glared.  
I guess that I didn't remember the whole drink situation. Draco smiled. "Nothing Potter. See you," he walked off without a wave.  
I watched myself rub my head and dust off the arm that Draco had touched. Severus Snape walked by. His onyx eyes spotted me and raised an eyebrow. Could he see me? His head turned watching me carefully, but bumped into the younger version of me. "Sorry Harry," he said.  
Harry looked up at him in a bit of disgust. "You mean Mr. Potter, Professor Snape?" he said.  
Snape looked at him, rather stunned. "I do, sorry," he said.  
He turned to look at me for a moment and walked off. "Harry?"

* * *

"Harry?" Hermione repeated.  
I opened my eyes to see Hermione and Ron looking over me. It was rather creepy. "I'm awake," I said and sat up.  
I moved my hands around, searching for my glasses. "Are you alright?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Fine," I smiled.  
I squinted and looked again. "What are you looking for?" Ron asked.  
"My glasses..." I said.  
Ron and Hermione looked at each other. "You're wearing them," Hermione said.  
I touched my face. Why did my vision suck? "Listen, we were thinking about what you said the other day," Ron said.  
I rubbed my head. "What did I say the other day?"  
Hermione sighed lightly. "The whole... issue," she said.  
"What issue?" I asked.  
Ron shrugged. "He must not have his memory fully back," he said.  
"Memory?" I asked. "Do they know what happened to me?"  
Hermione looked around and leaned closer to me. "Not fully, but we overheard Madam Pomfrey talking and she said that it may have caused memory loss."  
"Permanent?" I asked.  
"I don't know," she said.  
Did I really fall back in time? Or was everything just a dream. I watched Professor Snape... Severus Snape walk into the room. He looked at my friends and then down at me. "If you don't mine I need to talk to Mr. Potter alone," he said.  
"We're his best friends, why does it matter if we're here?" Ron asked.  
"It's his personal business. If he wants you to know, then he'll tell you after I tell him," he said.  
Hermione looked at me. "Maybe he wants us to stay," she said.  
I shook my head. "I'll tell you guys later," I said.  
She raised an eyebrow. "All right," she said.  
Hermione pulled Ron out of the room. I looked up at Severus. "Don't look at me like that Harry," he narrowed his black eyes. "It makes me nervous."  
"Sorry," I muttered and looked away. "I didn't mean too."  
He sat down on my bed, but his eyes refused to look at me. "Did you have it too?" he asked.  
"Have what?"  
He shook his head. "I'm probably just..." he looked at me. "I fell asleep in the other room. I had this dream about... you... and... I don't know. It just seems so real. Have you drunk anything from Draco?"  
"No," I said. "But," I reached over to grab the silver liquid. "He gave me this before I fell asleep."  
He took the container from me and looked at it. He seemed to recognize it. "Do you mind if I take this? I'll give it back... I realize you'd probably want to keep it," he said, awkwardly.  
"Why would I wanna keep it?"  
He smiled. "You told me, remember?"  
What? "Told you what?"  
He shook his head. "Sometimes I don't know what's going through your head; if anything," he said. "You do remember what I mean, right? You talked to me about it... your feelings for Draco. You were confused, remember?"  
No. "Yeah," I said and looked down.  
I knew what he meant, and it would make sense. I quickly remembered the blushing Harry from my dream. But I'm not feeling like that now... and I have a wife... and kids. Well, a depressed wife and kids that hate me. When did I start working so much? Severus touched my shoulder. "It's nothing to be ashamed of," he said.  
I narrowed my eyes into a steady glare. "How would you know?"  
His hand left my shoulder. "I've taught a lot of students," he said.  
But I can't be. I'm not now. "Maybe I was wrong," I said.  
His onyx eyes looked into mine. I looked away as a headache began again. "About your sexual preference?" he asked.  
"No, about you teaching a lot of students," I said with sarcasm.  
"Mr. Potter, I'm just trying to help. If you're going to mock me, I can just leave," he said and stood up from the bed.  
"Well, what was it that you had to tell me? Then you're welcome to leave," I said and lay back down in my bed.  
"Dumbledore is coming in tomorrow to speak with you," he said.  
He started to walk off. "That's all?" I asked.  
"That is all, Mr. Potter," he said and rolled his eyes slightly.  
"Wait," I said. I watched him turn his head to watch me. "You kicked out my friends to call me a homosexual and then just leave?"  
He nodded and seemed rather proud of himself. "Well, I wasn't sure if you're friends wanted to hear it or not," he said.  
"That was very considerate of you," I copied his eye roll.  
"What, exactly, do you want me to do?" he asked, rather frustrated with me.  
"You're giving me a headache," I said. "Just leave."  
His eyes lit up for a quick moment. "I'm giving you a headache?"  
"Yeah," I said. "You are."  
"What set it off?" he asked.  
I felt my cheeks heat up. "When you were looking at me," I muttered.  
He chuckled. "Next time should I close my eyes?"  
I couldn't decide if my face turned red because I was angry or embarrassed. I guessed that it was the combination of the two. "No, I mean... when you were really looking at me. I don't know," I said.  
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do you mind if I try something?" he asked.  
"For what?" I asked absent-mindedly.  
"Your headache problems," he said. "Or whatever it is."  
"Fine," I said. "Do something away."  
I watched him walk over and sit back down on the bed. "Can you close your eyes for a moment," he asked.  
"Okay," I sighed and closed my eyes. "You're not going to rape me, are you?" I joked and felt my head ring.  
"No," he sighed at my childish humor. Childish? I'm his age. "Open your eyes," he said.  
I opened my eyes to see his crooked nose millimeters away from my young face. "Bloody hell," I hadn't heard myself say that for a while. "What're you doing?"  
My head started to burn. Why wasn't I moving my head backwards, away from him? He didn't respond and watched my eyes watch his. "Harry..." his whispered, moving his lips closer to mine.  
I backed up away from him and started to cough. I covered my mouth since I didn't want to be rude. My head felt like it was being ripped apart. "Fuck," I attempted to curse, but it failed.  
I couldn't take the pain anymore as the red tears fell from my face again. "Harry!" Severus stepped away from me and tripped off the bed.  
I struggled to speak, choking on something in my mouth. The pain became unbearable as I lost any sense of consciousness again. 


	4. My Mistake

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: Umm... Thanks for the reviews! It's wonderful hearing all the comments! Oh, and I personally do not think there is anything wrong with being a homosexual, it's just that Harry is unbelievably confused and that's how I'm having him express his feelings. There is an important Author's note at the end. Well maybe not important, but it's more on update information. Enjoy!  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Four:**_ My Mistake  
_  
Rain pounded against the window of the room I was in. I felt my nose twitch lightly. I smiled, realizing that my head no longer ached. I opened my eyes and looked around my room. It was completely dark causing me to pull the covers closer to me. Lightening quickly lit up the room as I saw something shuffle in the distance. I watched the dark corner, awaiting another sign of life. The thunder that rolled startled me causing a yelp to escape from my mouth. Lightening stuck again as I saw the figure shift and moan slightly. "W-Who's there?" I asked into the eerie darkness.  
A grunt came from the silhouette. "Who the fuck else would it be Potter?" I heard a yawn. "I mean... it's the middle of the night, maybe later. I was assignment to watch you, even though each time I'm left alone with you... well... it doesn't usually end well."  
"Severus?" I squinted and asked.  
He strolled closer to me and moved to a chair. "Professor Snape actually," he said. "Did you drink any of the liquid Mr. Malfoy gave you?"  
I turned to see him better. "No," I said.  
I heard him sigh lightly. "Do you think you're going to be able to fall back asleep?" he asked.  
"Yeah," I smiled, not that he could see. "Thanks."  
His hair moved slightly as he attempted to get out of the chair. I guessed he was tired. He stopped once he stood up. "I don't mean to be rude," he started. I don't think he realized I was watching him. "But I was wondering if I could talk to you. Since, well, last time we were discussing dreams, and..."  
I cut him off, realizing that I might not have wanted to actually sleep; "It's fine. I don't mind at all," I said.  
He slumped back down in the chair, and put his feet up on the end of my bed. "Well, when I was sleeping... before you – accidentally – woke me up. I was having this nightmare," his head tilted up, as if he could still see it. "I was dying I think; the thing was, was that I was killing myself. I was saying," his head shifted to look at me. "Well, I don't remember what I was saying," I guessed he was lying. "But... it felt so real... I don't really know what to think of it."  
"Yesterday," I started. "You were talking about another dream and you asked if I had it?"  
His shaded figure nodded. "Yes."  
"I did," I said.  
I watched both of his eyebrows rise. He moved his feet off of my bed and faced me. "You did?" he said, in a calm manner. His hand moved behind his neck. "Why did you flip at me?"  
I didn't have an answer, since I wasn't the Harry he thought I was. I quickly thought out a response. I would tell him that the potion made Draco and I switch places, but... he probably already found out what the potion did. The truth would sound made up, not that it mattered. "Can I be honest with you?" I asked.  
He shrugged. "I don't see why not," I noticed his lips turn into a small smile.  
"Well, I do. Don't think I'm crazy," I didn't give him a chance to comment. "You know when you woke me up in class? The most recent time, I mean."  
"Yes..."  
"Seconds before that I was hit by a car. Minutes before being hit, I was standing at your tombstone with Draco Malfoy," I said.  
He nodded. "You told me about the dream," he said.  
"No," I sat up to face him. "That ISN'T it. I was actually there. It wasn't a dream. I was there and... and... now I'm here. I got flung into the past."  
"I think we should get some X-Rays done," he said.  
"Severus! Please. Either I'm in some sort of sick dream or I'm actually stuck here. I... I just want to wake up," I lowered my head.  
"Harry..." he leaned in so I could clearly see his face. "I don't think this is a dream. Maybe your life was a dream," he said.  
"No!" I back away from his black, staring eyes. "It... I..." I tried to put my thoughts together. "It couldn't have been. I have a wife... and offspring... and... a job. I was looked up to! Well, not by my kids. They dislike me... I guess I spend too much time at work. And, my wife isn't exactly my wife either. We had just recently divorced. And my... erm... secretary found out that they were going to fire me because I wasn't pulling my weight. Then Draco calls and says that you're dead, so I missed the funeral and end up wallowing at your grave."  
"Calm down," he said. "You probably just need some sleep."  
"I've done nothing but sleep," I said.  
"You've been unconscious. You need real sleep," he said.  
"You don't believe me," I crossed my arms childishly.  
"Obviously not," he said. "Dumbledore and I will see you in the morning."  
"Would you just leave?"  
He stood up off his chair. "I am, right now," he seemed as frustrated as I was.  
I watched him walk to the door. His silhouette looked at me once and then left.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore shook me lightly. I muttered a curse under my breath as I awoke from a dreamless sleep. It had felt like only minutes since I had argued with Severus Snape. "Are you awake Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked me.  
"I am now," I turned over.  
After I turned over, I quickly regretted my actions. Severus sat on the other side of my bed, watching me carefully. I sat up immediately and moved myself to the other end of the bed. "We need to discuss some things," Dumbledore sighed lightly.  
"We mine as well start, since I am awake," I said, crossing my arms once again.  
Snape handed me the silver liquid. "This is what Draco gave you, right?"  
I nodded. "It is."  
The Professors raised their eyebrow simultaneously. I handed Severus the potion back. "Did you drink any of it?" Albus Dumbledore asked.  
"No," I said.  
Albus and Severus looked at one another. Severus then turned to me. "You told me something yesterday, that I took the wrong way. I am truly sorry if I offended you in any way."  
I realized what he meant. I looked out the window at the clouded sky. I refused to make eye contact with the men on either side of me and decided to busy myself with the chipped window. "If what I said was true, then, yes, I did drink the potion. The dream I had... was just a memory," I said.  
I noticed Albus smile from the corner of my eye. "That explains it then. This boy really is from the time he claimed. Whatever made him come back here, made the effect of the potion stronger," he said.  
Severus held out another potion for me. "It's the antidote. I worked all night to make it," he said.  
I looked at the gold liquid. It made sense, but I didn't take it from his hands. "What did Draco's potion do?" I asked and looked towards Dumbledore.  
Dumbledore seemed to look towards Snape for any kind of guidance on how to present the issue. "It's... to make you see things differently," he started.  
Snape finished his explanation. "When discipline was physical in schools, teachers would hit the left wrist of students that wrote with their left hand. It was to try to teach them to use their right hand instead," he said. I waited for further explanation since none of this actually involved me. "That's what Draco's potion does, except, well..." he rubbed his hands together. "Whenever you thought about someone homosexually it would send minor shocks through the brain, so that you would learn not to think this way. Of course, you couldn't feel any physic pain, but you would flinch and maybe have a slight headache."  
I turned towards him. "I am not a homosexual," I said, calmly.  
Severus chuckled lightly. "Of course not. You're getting shocked each time that you ever think that way. Eventually, you stopped," he said.  
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I never was in the first place. I had a wife. I had affairs with women. I never looked at a man in that manner," I said.  
Albus spoke. "Harry, you have to understand that the potion is dangerous. It doesn't matter if you thought you were homosexual or not."  
"Well, it must matter to Severus here," I said.  
"It doesn't matter to me," Snape said and moved the antidote closer to me.  
"It doesn't sound like it," I muttered.  
"Do you want to take the antidote?" Snape asked.  
"No," I said.  
"Why not?" Dumbledore asked.  
"Well, why should I?"  
Snape set the antidote down on the desk beside the bed. "Because you won't be sick anymore," he said.  
"I'm not sick," I said. "You are... you're the one that wants me to be a homosexual," I muttered.  
"What makes you think that? I just want you to be safe," he said.  
"Because YOU'RE a homosexual. You'd like the thought that maybe you and I had a chance," I said.  
He stood up, rather offended. "Mr. Potter, I do not have relations with my students. I will not put up with this any longer."  
Severus Snape left the room, slamming the door behind him. Dumbledore spoke up, "I do not know what has come over you Harry. But I think it would be better if you stayed in here for a while. It is your choice whether you want to take the antidote or not. But... you have NO right to talk to Professor Snape in that manner. He has gone out of his way to help you, and you treat him like he's done something wrong. Maybe he has. Maybe he shouldn't have helped you."  
Albus smiled lightly at me, and walked out of the room, shutting the door more quietly. I widened my eyes and wrapped my arms around my legs. I had dug myself into a deep hole, and hurt Severus whom had started the whole problem. He was the reason I was here... and I needed to fix what I had done. I noticed a small crack in the floor. I started to poke it with my foot and watched the floorboard move.

* * *

_**A/N:** Okay, update information. I don't know how many people actually read this, but anyways. I'm going on a trip. I don't know why, but I didn't get a say in the manner. I will not get the chance to write, because I like to write alone... and that's not going to happen in a tiny hotel room. There might be internet connection, but I'm not really sure. If I get a chance, I will write another chapter tonight and then post it while I'm there. But I still have to finish my fictionpress chapter and I don't know how much longer the peace will last. I get back in six or seven days, so I'll try my best to post close to when I get back. If you're really bored... check out the fictionpress story (I have the same username) and I should be posting in my live journal if you're that interested. So, I hope you all have a lovely week. _


	5. Too Much

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: My toothbrush is in a ziploc bag! This is from Severus' point of view because there probably isn't much going through Harry's mind. It's not the best, I know, but I liked it. And I did get this done before! Surprise! Umm, I may change my mind and re-write it, but meh... well let me know what you think I should do and Enjoy!

Extra A/N: In ch2 I used Manically Depressed to describe Harry. I thought it suited the situation Harry was in because, as descrbied later in the story, he still had stuff to look forward too. So his emotions would still be all fucked up because Snape's dead - no job - no wife... but still a couple mistresses... which wouldn't excatly be mistresses since he's not married now... but... you know what I mean. And when Snape died he didn't realize the feelings he had for him. So he'd have his highs and lows, but when I get back home (and I can edit it properly) I'll fix it.

_**Until Death and After**_  
  
**Chapter Five:**_ Too Much  
_  
I walked into the room, immediately regretting my reactions. An, intoxicated, Harry lay on the floor with a glazed look in his eyes. "Severus," he managed to slur from his mouth. "I found some beers."  
He held out a bottle for me to have. "I'm good," I said and sat down on the bed.  
"Awe, you're such a drag," he said and tried to stand up.  
He toppled over, causing me catch him. He smiled showing off his teeth. "Maybe you should lay down," I said, lifting him back onto his feet.  
"Maybe I should," he smiled as if he said something intelligent.  
"Where'd you get the beer?" I asked, calmly.  
What doctor would give him something like that? "I'm not telling," he giggled.  
I took the bottle he had in his hand. "How many have you had?" I looked into the almost empty bottle.  
"Pfft," he rolled his eyes and sat down beside me. "Only four. Usually I can hold my liquor better."  
"I doubt you've ever had a beer in your life," I said.  
He stared at me with his deep brown eyes and poked me lightly in the side. "I will, so I thought I'd start a little early," he said. "You should take a drink," he pushed the beer close to my lips.  
I watched him impatiently and pushed it away. "I'm fine," I said.  
"Come on," he fluttered his eyelashes as if he was an appealing female whore. He pushed it closer to my lips. "A little tiny sip?" His eyes watched mine. He pushed it up against my lips and lifted it up. "It's not gonna hurt."  
I snatched it from him. "Dammit, fine," I took a drink of the liquid.  
He took the bottle back from me. "You realize that was just the equivalent of a kiss," he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist.  
"What?" I stood up, avoiding the youth's grasp.  
Harry blinked for a moment. "Severus, my throat's burning," he said.  
I hoped that meant he was sobering up, but that would mean I'd have some good luck for once. He leaned over as his eyes started to water. I stepped closer to him, hoping that he wouldn't attempt to grab me again. He slightly reached out to grab my hand, but I moved it away. His eyes began to water as he lowered his head closer to the ground. Tears hit the floor. "Oh shit, you didn't take the antidote, did you?" I asked.  
Harry lay down on the ground. "W-What?" he asked.  
I noticed the full bottle still on the desk. "Harry, listen to me, okay?" I said to the boy on the floor. "Are you listening?" I asked. He nodded and tilted his head to one side. "Are you sober enough to make a decision?"  
He nodded and sat up. "I think so," he said.  
"How many fingers?" I asked holding up three fingers.  
He turned a light red. "I needed to talk to you about that. I see... three... but... I think I need a higher prescription," he said.  
I nodded. "Okay, I'll see what I can do," I said. "You remember the antidote, right?" I said and picked up the bottle.  
He smiled. "Yeah... that'll make the pain stop, right?"  
"It will... but you turned it down previously," I said.  
He stood up. "I was... afraid I guess, and if I change my mind then I can just ask Draco for another."  
I nodded and handed him the potion. "That's true," I said.  
He swirled the potion and stared at it for a moment. "Let's make a toast," he smiled and handed me a glass of water. "Since you won't drink," he winked lightly.  
I chuckled and took the glass of water from him. "Okay, you have something planned?" I asked.  
He stepped close to me. I watched him flinch from the obvious pain he was in. "Something I've wanted to say for too long," he said and held out his glass. "This toast is for you Severus Snape because I will love you until your death, and long after it."  
I felt my jaw drop and any colour that was in my face leave it. Harry continued a stupid smile on his face as if he said something wonderful and witty. He leaned to tap the glasses together and chugged the antidote. "W...What?" I said, too quietly.  
"That tastes horrible," he said, ignoring me.  
He looked around and pulled a beer from behind his back. "You've had too much," I said and attempted to grab the bottle from him.  
He pulled it away causing me to miss. "Come on," he said. "A little more."  
"Where are you hiding those?" I asked.  
His eyes glanced someplace. "Hiding?" he smiled innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
Again, I tried to snatch the bottle away from him. Even though he was drunk out of his mind, he was still rather fast. He grabbed my arm and latched on to it. "I'll let you finish that bottle if you tell me where the remainder are," I said.  
He looked at me and smiled lightly. His body moved up against mine. "I'll continue drinking this drink, and – for a kiss – I'll tell you where the remainder is," he said, pushing his face against my sleeve.  
I looked down at the youth on my arm. He was taller then I last remembered. He watched me hopefully. "Harry," I started. He touched my face lightly. "I can't. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't."  
He looked down again moving his hand from my face. He tightened his grip around my arm like a child. He set down the beer on the floor. "You can take it all," he said. "I won't even finish this one."  
I guessed he was sobering up, or at least putting common sense into the situation. He pulled me down with him, as he searched for a loose floorboard. "May I have my arm back?" I asked, not sure if I actually wanted him to let go.  
His eyes looked at me. "I'm sorry," he said and smiled lightly. "I like it."  
He let go of my arm and forced the floorboard up. "I found it. I didn't bring it myself, I promise," he said.  
I picked up the beers from the hidden slot. "I think it's time for you to lay down okay?" I asked.  
He stood up and nodded obediently. "I'm really sorry," he said.  
"It's fine. I don't get hit on too often," I said.  
He climbed into the hospital bed and stared at the ceiling. "I mean... for what I've said, and how rude I've been," he said.  
I shrugged and shoved the floorboard back into place with my foot. "I've had worse said to me," I said.  
I walked towards the door and opened it slightly. "Severus," Harry said and waited for me to turn around. He stared into me, making my stomach leap from nervousness. "I really do love you."  
I nodded and walked from the room. What was I supposed to do? I flicked off the light on the outside and closed the door softly. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger watched me for a moment. "I didn't bring him beer," I said, noticing that Albus was watching me as well.  
"What happened?" Albus asked.  
I shrugged. "There was beer in his room and he found it. I got it," I said and handed it to him. "I wouldn't recommend seeing him... it's late anyway."  
Albus watched me walk by. "I'm sorry if he said anything hurtful," he said as I stepped into the elevator.  
I pressed the door close button. "Goodnight," I said.  
"Or if he said the opposite," he said.  
"Goodnight Albus," I said as the door closed.  
No one was in the elevator except for my reflection staring back at me, tired and frustrated. I had seen too much of Mr. Potter. 


	6. Long Flight

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: Umm... I apologize if you guys didn't really like the last chapter, but I laughed... hope you did too. I'm not impressed with it at all, but now it gets more serious... enjoy!  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Six:** _Long Flight_  
  
A headache awoke me. I tried to forget whatever dream I had to cause the pain. I opened my eyes and had the sun glare into them. "Good morning Harry," Albus said from my bedside.  
I was curious about where my previous doctor was, Severus. "Isn't there something I can take for this headaches?" I asked.  
He chuckled to himself. "Do you know what happened yesterday night?" he asked, not answering my question.  
"Not a clue," I said.  
"You were really drunk, and Professor Snape came to the rescue," he said.  
"Oh," I said. "Did I say anything to him?"  
"I don't really know. He didn't say much... but..." he trailed off, trying to word his thoughts out. "You did drink the antidote." I lowered my eyes. What happened? "If you really want, you can drink the potion again."  
"I don't know," I said.  
"Well," he sighed lightly. "We have a flight for you to return to Hogwarts."  
"Flight?"  
"Airplane."  
"What? I'm taking an airplane?" I asked, kind of stunned.  
"We don't want you flying a broom in case something happens," he said. "We'll pick you up at the airport."  
"You won't be on it?"  
He laughed. "Oh, of course not! You couldn't get me on one of those things. Hermione and Ron will be on it though. They came to see you, but you were out for most of the time."  
I looked up slightly. "So I can talk to them when I'm on the flight?" I asked.  
"Of course," Dumbledore smiled. "Now get dressed."

* * *

I looked at the ticket and read each seat number. Supposedly, I was supposed to sit with Ron and Hermione, but I noticed that the seats were in pairs. It was a smaller plane than what I was used to. I sat down in my seat, glad that I had the window seat. "Ah, Mr. Potter," Severus said; I think I caught his eyes roll. "It looks like we'll be sitting together," he sounded slightly disappointed.  
I tried to make him feel better about the situation. "You can have the window if you'd like," I said.  
He shook his head nervously. "No, no. I requested the aisle seat," he said.  
I watched him sit down awkwardly. We both sat in silence for a while. "I'm sorry if I said anything yesterday... to offend you..." I said, watching his dark eyes carefully.  
"Don't start now Potter. You and I both know you don't remember, and I have worse things to worry about right now," he said.  
I watched his eyes dart around frantically as he gripped the armrest nervously. "Are you alright?" I asked, watching his knuckles turn white.  
"No Potter," he spat. "I do not like having my life in someone else's hands. The only reason I'm on this damn thing is because I'm supposed to make sure you're okay. I thought you'd be fine with your little friends, but it seems as if Dumbledore thought differently. God forbid he watches you himself."  
I lowered my eyes towards my feet. So, I'm just a burden then? "I'm sorry," I said. "For making you do this."  
From the corner of my eye, I watched him turn his head towards me. "It's fine... Harry. I have to conquer my fears sometime," he said.  
I turned my heads towards his, watching his eyes watch mine. I drew closer to him, part of me was screaming no while the other part was thought the opposite. "Harry!" Ron said.  
I broke the stare to look at my redheaded friend. Hermione stood behind him. "Hey guys," I said in a half-smile.  
"How're you feeling?" Hermione asked.  
"Much better," I said. "Where are you guys sitting?"  
Ron looked at his ticket. "A couple rows up," he said. "Do we get to hear about what happened?"  
"After the flight," I said. "It'll be hard to talk on the plane."  
"Obviously. Hermione here is scared of the flight," he laughed and nudged her slightly. "Can you believe that?"  
She turned red lightly. I inconspicuously watched Snape's expression. It stayed blank, but his knuckles turned white again. A stewardess walked up behind them. "We're going to take off soon, could you please take your seats?" she asked.  
"Okay," Hermione said and pulled Ron with her.  
She smiled at Severus lightly and continued to walk by. "I think she gave you a look," I started, trying to make him calmer.  
He turned to look at me. "Why on earth would she be smiling at someone like me? She's being paid to," he said.  
I took a moment to observe his muggle clothes. He was wearing black pants with a dark grey sweater. He looked basically the same, but very nervous. He seemed kind of attractive when he was... exposed. "It's not like you're ugly or something," I said.  
"You should have thought that one through Potter, you might sound homosexual," he said.  
Of course, I grew frustrated with him. "I was just trying to be nice. Why are you against it or something?"  
Dammit, I'm dumb. He picked that one up quickly. "I'M against? I am against it? You accused me of being it a few days ago," he said  
I felt my hand shaking. Why was I nervous? Why do I care what this man thinks of me? "May I ask you something?" I asked, hoping I'd just wake up back in my real bed.  
"You just did; I may not answer the next one," he said.  
"Are you?" I asked.  
He sighed and moved uncomfortably in the chair. "It's a long story, and I'm sure we'll be there soon," he looked away from me.  
I looked out the window. "Severus," I said. "We haven't started yet. Have you flown before?"  
He turned to glare at me. "No," he said. "Are you trying to make me look stupid?"  
I smiled childishly. "Yes," I said.  
The stewardesses stepped to the front and quickly gave us the safety instructions and such. I tuned her out quickly and shoved my hand in my pocket trying to find my gum. They walked from the front of the plane to take their seats while the plane took up. "What're you doing?" Snape asked me.  
"Gum!" I said, fishing it out of my pocket.  
"Seatbelt," he pointed out.  
"Gum?" I offered him some, since it was supposed to help the feeling when the plane takes off.  
He leaned over and did up my seatbelt. I slipped a piece of gum into his mouth. He rolled his eyes slightly. "Thanks," he said.  
I smiled at him as he put his hand on the armrest closest to the aisle. I watched his face go paler than he was originally as we took off. His jaw raised and lowered, chewing the gum. He looked as if he was holding his breath. I watched him close his eyes nervously and put his hand on the other armrest. Normally, I wouldn't have complained or anything, but my hand was also on there. His, physically, older hand easily covered mine. "Hey," I whispered to him. He opened his eyes for a moment. "My hand..."  
He looked down at his hand. Was he blushing? "Sorry!" he said. "I'm just a little shaken up."  
I watched my hand become released and I moved it out of the away. "It's fine," I said, holding in my frustration.  
He noticed. "I really am, I'll be more careful on the way down," he said.  
The seatbelt light went off. I unbuckled it quickly so I could sit more comfortably in the chair. "Are you going to tell me the story then?" I asked.  
"My personal life is none of your concern," he responded.  
I quickly tried to get a plan together to weasel the information out of him. "It's a long flight..." I said, watching his unchanging expression. He didn't respond and pulled out one of the safety pamphlets to read. "Could you get me my memory back?"  
"What?" he asked.  
"From last night..." I said. "I want to know what happened."  
I doubted he'd do that and instead tell me the story. "Do you really want it back?"  
Do I? Curiosity won over common sense. "Yes," I said.  
He watched me carefully. "Are you sure?" he seemed nervous about me figuring out what happened.  
I smiled lightly at him. "Positive."  
He sighed lightly. "I can give you a potion for it, but you might feel a little sick afterwards," he said.  
I watched him pull out a potion kit as he discretely tried to make a potion. I yawned lightly and leaned back in the seat, careful not to piss off the person beside me. An opportunity came up. "How about you tell me it while you're making the potion?"  
"It's not a hard potion to make; I'm down now," he handed the drink to me.  
I looked at the liquid and chugged it, careful not to miss a drop. I handed the glass back to him as my head started to ache. Memories quickly filled back into my head. I held my head of images of me pressuring Severus into drinking appeared. It was followed with I telling him that I loved him, twice. I leaned over and grabbed a bag. I felt my stomach roll as I gracefully threw up my small breakfast and the potion. I felt his hand rubbing my back softly. "Are you alright?" he asked.  
"Fine," I said, closing the bag.  
The stewardess came up again. "Is he okay?" she asked Snape.  
"He's fine," he replied.  
She leaned over, "Let me throw that out for you," she took the bag away from me.  
I watched her leave and hoped my stomach would stop turning. "Did... I really say those things?" I asked.  
He nodded. "Yes," he said, taking his hand off my back.  
"I'm... sorry..." I said, watching his expression.  
Do I really love him? Or did I have too much to drink? "It's fine," he said, packing up his potions.  
"Did I mean it?" I asked, more myself than him.  
He sighed lightly and looked at me. "I don't know," he said.  
"Do you... I mean... do you feel that way about me?" I asked.  
I watched his eyes dart away from me. "Let's change the topic, shall we?" it was easy to tell he was very frustrated with me. "I'll tell you the damned story."  
I smiled and eagerly waited to hear what happened to him. I turned my body so I could face him. "Thanks," I said.  
He looked towards me and I could watch his thoughts going together. "Well, to start, during my first year at Hogwarts I had befriended only two people. A girl, her name was Victoria and a boy who was my roommate. Anyways, within the first week I wanted to go home; I was NOT happy there. So I wrote a letter to my mom begging for me to come home. She wrote me back and the only thing she wrote was, 'Don't ruin the pillow with you tears, we'll see you at Christmas.' I was, rather upset with this, and stayed at school for every moment I could. I didn't go back at Christmas, and I stopped writing letters to either of my parents.  
"The real story, of course, is about Vic. She was in a different house then me, but she usually snuck in anyway. First year sucked, but second year got better. My roommate decided that I needed more friends and surrounded me with his friends. They were, of course, all guys. We had all the same interests, beginning with comic books. Girls didn't really like us anyway, but they mocked me more than the rest. I was bright, or so I'm told, and the big nose and greasy black hair didn't help any. Victoria, we called her Vic, actually beat some people up for me. She... was a tomboy. She always cut her hair really short, herself. It was a messy brown hair... kind of resembles yours... and she had bright emerald eyes. Of course, as we grew older we kind of got attached to each other. She filled out and grew her hair longer. She was gorgeous. I did mention that all my friends had the same interests right?" he didn't give me a chance to answer. He was too absorbed in his own story. "Well, we all liked her. The thing was... was that when one of us went out with her, we wouldn't tell anyone else because we didn't want anyone to be upset. She, being the person she was, quickly caught on. She used all of us, all the time. For gifts, sex, homework anything you could think of. One night at Christmas, I was the only one in my room and she had snuck in while I was asleep. I woke up with her lying on top of me. She told me she wanted her first time to be with me, so since I usually thought dick first I agreed. Afterwards, she admitted that she wanted MY first time to be with her and she had already had a good time before. I wasn't pissed though, which was weird. Instead of me complaining, we made a necklace together which was to protect her. I gave it to her as a gift, so she'd remember me.  
"After school ended everyone basically went there separate ways. About 6 months after school ended we all met again under a circumstance we wished never happened. Victoria had committed suicide. It was a mystery to everyone why. The rumour was, was that she owed someone a lot of money and she was going to die anyway. Other people said she was just depressed. I did get something out of the experience though. In her will she left me the necklace and a note she had written to me, but never gave it to me. I believe that she is the only girl I'll ever love because every other woman has been a bitch to me." He sighed lightly. "And to be honest, she acted more like a guy than a girl anyway. So, it's obvious why I turned the way I did."  
"One girl turned you gay?" I asked.  
He laughed lightly. "One girl was keeping me straight."  
I scratched my head. "I see," I said. "So your door swings both ways?"  
His eyes rolled lightly. "ONE way, it used to swing both, but only for Vic."  
"What'd the note say?" I asked.  
He shrugged. "I never read it. I still have it, but I'm too nervous to read it. I have the necklace though," he said.  
I watched him pull it out from underneath his sweater. I looked at the thin silver chain and then noticed one pearl attached to the centre. There was another pearl attached the first pearl. The first was black while the second was green. "It looks nice. Why the colours?" I asked.  
He took it off from around his neck. "My favourite colour was black, hers was green. It made sense at the time. It didn't do a great job protecting her though," he said. His black eyes looked at me for a moment. "You have it," he handed it out to me.  
"I couldn't," I said, watching the chain spin.  
He leaned over and put the chain around my neck. "You could and you will. You don't get a say in this matter," he said. "I'm flying on a plane and I have to let go of long lost lovers."  
I watched the chain sit against my chest. "Thanks," I said. "But... why did you stay with her even though she was using you guys. I'm sure you figured out what was going on."  
"I don't believe you've loved someone as much as I loved her," he said. "Even at your no longer youthful age."  
I looked down. He was probably right. "I cried for you," I said.  
"Hush Potter," he clenched a fist. "I don't deserve your tears. I did nothing to make you feel as you do."  
"Do you think I'm in love with you?" I asked, watching him carefully.  
"Please, not this dull subject again. You're just like her you know," he narrowed his eyes.  
"What do you mean?" I asked.  
"She always wanted to know if I loved her or not. I never answered of course. She said she loved me, but I always doubted it, for I knew she'd say the same thing to my friends. I still remember her voice, 'Can you just say it once?' she asked me like many times before. I said I couldn't because I couldn't love someone who acted like a whore. She punched me, hard, and broke my nose," he ran his hand lightly against his long nose. "I've lived with it since. I feel as if I had told her, things would have turned out differently," he said.  
"I wasn't asking if you loved me," I said.  
"Love, romance, whatever," he muttered.  
I leaned in closer to him. "So, you're not interested in going into the bathroom and having some fun?" I asked, feeling a smile start to appear on my face.  
"What?" he raised an eyebrow. "I... erm..." he stuttered nervously.  
I laughed. "Only kidding," I nudged him. "You think I'm cute, don't you?"  
He turned away. "I remember having this conversation before when you were intoxicated," he said.  
"No, no. You forget that I remember. When I was drunk I wanted you to kiss me. Now I want to know if you think I'm cute," I said.  
"I'm you're teacher," he said. "We can't discuss things like this."  
"Come on," I was leaning into him. "I have low self-esteem, make me feel better," I said.  
He turned his head to get a better look at me. His face was close to mine. "Please don't do this," he said.  
I lowered my eyes, ashamed of my actions. "Sorry," I said and backed down.  
The seatbelts light dinged back on as an announcement told us we were landing. Severus tensed up more then he was previously, because of what I had done. He hadn't removed his seatbelt. I watched him close his eyes again, but gave him both armrests. The plan started to shake slightly and I turned out of the window. I guessed extra turbulence was caused from the storm. Lightening lit up the dark sky. I turned to look at Snape who had also glanced out the window. I put my hand on top of his and squeezed it lightly. "We'll be fine," I smiled at him.


	7. Sick Vic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: It took a lot longer than I thought, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Seven:**_ Sick Vic  
_  
He lay down in the luxurious bed beside me. I felt his soft lips brush up again my cheek. I smiled at the man beside me. His arm wrapped themselves around me as his legs twisted together with mine. His lips, again, found a place on my cheek. I placed my hands on his hips and kissed his lips. His normally stern face smiled at me brushed his nose against mine, teasing my lips. "Mr. Potter!" he shouted at me.  
I shook lightly and opened my eyes. "Yes?" I asked.  
"Are you sleeping in class again?" Professor Snape glared at me.  
"No," I said.  
"Detention Mr. Potter," he said.  
Draco Malfoy started to laugh loudly. "Next time don't talk in your sleep Potter," he laughed.  
I had been back in school for a week since the plane. After that incident, my dreams had started to haunt me. I swore that I heard voices as I attempted to sleep and my dreams were filled with pain, suffering and the extreme opposites. "Mr. Malfoy I had no patience today, you've got detention too," he crossed his arms. "Does anyone else feel like pushing my buttons?"  
No one responded and he went back to teaching. I leaned close to Ron and whispered, "Was I talking in my speak?" I asked.  
He chuckled. "There's a good reason why Snape gave you a detention," he said.  
I felt my face burn with embarrassment. Severus and I hadn't actually spoken, as friends, since the plane. He didn't make the effort, but neither had I. A smile grew across my face as I actually looked forward to the detention with him. "Did I say any names?" I asked, careful of how I spoke.  
He shrugged lightly. "Nope," he smiled. "Why? Is it a big secret?"  
I had told him about what Draco had done, and what the concoction had done to me. I had, however, forgot the incident where I was drunk and the plane ride. He never asked about either anyway. "Not really," I said. "I just ... like my privacy."  
I wasn't sure what would have happened if everyone found out I had chosen homosexuality, nor that I had become attracted to Severus Snape. I watched him teach elegantly and waited for detention to come.  
  
I knocked on the door lightly and waited for a response. Severus opened it with a normal, somewhat frustrated, look on his face. "Hi," I said, and smiled.  
"You're early, Mr. Potter," he said, keeping the door only partially open.  
He doesn't want me to be early? "I'm sorry sir," I said. "I thought I'd take longer to reach my location."  
He sighed lightly and looked at me for a moment. Is he hiding someone in there? He opened the door. Albus Dumbledore was in the room already. I stepped in, but didn't question his presence, since he spoke immediately. "Harry, I'm glad you're early, even if Professor Snape is not. We were just discussing something that I would prefer Mr. Malfoy didn't stick his head in," he said.  
"What were you discussing?" I asked.  
I watched Severus slump down in a chair and sigh lightly. His dark eyes watched my every little twitch. "Harry, your night terrors have been brought to my attention..." Dumbledore said.  
"I wouldn't call them night terrors," I said.  
"I would," Severus said. "I was in the Slytherin common room late trying to explain a potions class to a student and I could hear Harry screaming." He called me Harry. "I rushed in, in case Minerva was busy, and he had wrapped up in all of his sheets and was screaming. Minerva came in just moments after I had. Don't you remember any of this?" he said.  
I thought about it for a moment. "I... don't. When was this?" I asked.  
"Last night," he said. "I guess it makes sense that you don't remember, since you were dreaming."  
I shrugged. "I guess," I said.  
"Well," Dumbledore said. "You've been keeping the other students up and so we've thought about moving your room."  
"Where to?" I asked.  
The professors looked at each other. "We haven't decided yet," Albus said. "But we were thinking about moving you next to Severus' room, since he rushed in faster than Minerva originally and his room is probably far away enough so that people won't hear your screams. Then we'll try to figure out what we can do, if anything."  
I watched them, watched Severus' reaction. There, of course, was none. "I think I would like that, and I wouldn't want to bother anyone," I said. "If I wouldn't bother Professor Snape, of course."  
He looked away from me. "We'll discuss it further, later," Albus said.  
Draco pushed open the doors. He looked around for a moment. "Is laughing in class really something to get Dumbledore for?" he asked.  
Severus Snape began to talk again. "No," he started. "But drinking your own, illegal potions, and forcing them on others is."  
I stepped back carefully and just watched the show. "What are you talking about?" he asked. Draco frantically looked around the small room. "What lies has Potter told you?"  
Snape sighed lightly. "None surprisingly. We just want to know if you consumed the potion yourself. You do know what it does, right?" he asked.  
Draco, too easily, gave in. "Of course I know what it does, don't be stupid," he said. "I started having horrible dreams about Potter and I, so I created the potion and it's working... but then I started to worry that he was having the same type of dreams. I felt it'd be best to give him one, slightly stronger than mine."  
Albus stepped in. "It isn't safe," he said. "Harry's grew worse, much worse, and caused a lot of different illnesses. We don't want yours to get out of hand as well."  
Draco seemed slightly nervous. "But... I never made a cure..."  
Snape nodded. "I did," he said.  
"May I have it?" he asked.  
Severus handed Draco the antidote – the same as mine. "Sure."  
He drank it in one small gulp. He tossed the liquid back at Snape and crossed his arms. "Can I go now?" he asked.  
For a moment, he looked at me. He made me feel rather nervous. "Of course," Dumbledore said.  
He walked elegantly out of the room, as if he hadn't put my or his life in danger. Albus looked at Severus and then at me. "Should... I go as well?" I asked.  
Severus nodded. "We need to decide about your room. Dumbledore will go up to your room when we decide," he said.  
I nodded back, slowly. I didn't think Snape wanted me around. I walked from the classroom and wandered back to my room. "What happened?" Ron eagerly asked.  
"I have to change rooms," I said, pulling out my suitcase. "Just because of the night terrors."  
Hermione sat on the end of my bed, next to Ron. "Those ARE terrible Harry, I'm afraid I haven't slept well because of it," she said.  
"Well, I am sorry; it's not like I can help it," I said, lowering my eyes.  
She crossed her legs impatiently. "Where are they going to put you?" she asked.  
I shrugged. "Probably near Snape's quarters, since it's far away from all of the different rooms," I said.  
"That makes sense. He's one of the few teachers with a guest room," Ron said.  
Hermione turned to Ron. "How do you know that?" she asked, raising her eyebrow suspiciously.  
He looked back at her. "Eww, Hermione don't think that!" he shoved her playfully. "I heard Professor McGonnigal say he had a visitor once, and mentioned something about a guest room. She said she wished she had a guest room."  
"Would she have guests though?" I asked.  
Hermione and Ron shrugged simultaneously. They had grown rather attached to each other. "It'd be better staying with her than Snape," Ron made a face.  
I tried to stop my cheeks from burning red. "Maybe," I said. "But I would still wake you guys up."  
"You can't win," Hermione said. "I just hope you figure out what is causing your dreams. I'm sure it's terrible for you as well."  
I nodded and continued to shove my things into the suitcase. Professor Snape walked in and looked down at us. "All right Mr. Potter," he sighed lightly. "You'll be staying with me."  
"Not that I'm complaining sir," I started. "But wasn't Dumbledore supposed to get me?"  
"Yes," he said. "But he thought it would be better for me to fetch you, since I know where I'm going... or something like that."  
I nodded and picked up my suitcase. "Sorry sir, for being a hassle," I said.  
"It's fine," he said. "Is that all of your things?"  
"I need to bring everything?" I asked.  
He shrugged. "It may be better," he said.  
Ron and Hermione left the room while I finished to pack. Snape picked up my first suitcase and Hedwig's empty cage. I grabbed the last bag and followed him down the empty corridor. I quickly attempted to make conversation. "You don't mind me staying?" I asked.  
"No," he kept his responses short. "I don't."  
"Is it soundproof? Will you hear me if I start again?" I asked.  
"No because I'm going to be there if you're screaming. I don't sleep much anyway," his eyes stayed off of me.  
"Thank you," I said.  
He opened the door to his personal chamber. I waited until he closed the door to start what I really wanted to talk about. "Is there a reason you're barely talking to me?" I asked, feeling myself start to get really upset.  
He was obviously feeling the same as I was. "Harry, you have to understand. I can't have a relationship with a student. The age difference is grotesque and I'm seeing someone else. If it wasn't for... you being you I wouldn't even take a second glance at you as you walk by," he said.  
"Then why am I staying in your guest room?" I asked.  
He crossed his arms. "It was Dumbledore's decision, not mine. If I said no, then I'd have to explain why, which could have gotten me fired," he said.  
I paused and walked to where the guest room was. "I am older, you know," I said.  
"Don't start with this future bullshit again please," he said and set my stuff down in the room.  
"It's an excuse," I said, looking up at him. "It's not like I'm completely happy with the age difference either."  
He sighed lightly. "Graduation is soon. Then we can both go along with our lives forgetting each other," he said and walked from the room.  
I walked to the doorway and glared at him. He wasn't looking. "I bet that's the same thing you said to Victoria," I said.  
I watched him turn to look at me. I had hurt him. I slammed the door trying to get his onyx eyes out of my sight. I didn't bother unpacking and let myself fall into his large, luxurious guest bed. I looked at the pile of my things and let sleep take over my body.  
  
My eyes opened before I was fully conscious. My body ached for more sleep. Had I been screaming? There was no Snape to been seen, so no, I hadn't. I sat up and looked around for a clock. I could hear it ticking, but it was hidden from my sight. Something darted across the floor. It moved to where my things where. I lazily looked at the pile and noticed a woman sitting on top. "Hello Harry," a smile stretched across her lips.  
She didn't move her mouth when she spoke, but I knew it was her speaking. "Hi," I said, trying to be polite as I could. "May I ask who you are?"  
"Of course," she crossed her legs.  
She continued to be silent. I caught on quickly. "Who are you?" I asked.  
Her eyes ventured to the chain around my neck. "Victoria, but you're welcome to call me Vic," she said.  
So this was the wonderful Victoria. She was tall and rather slim. She had long, dark brown hair and bright green eyes. She was rather stunning, but her hair seemed to move even though there was no wind. "I've heard of you," I said.  
I listened to her laughter fill the air, even though her face showed no expression of it. "I would hope so," she said. "Severus was rather smitten with me."  
"I think you hurt him," I said.  
"Bah," her eyes rolled. "I know what you think. I may be dead, but I am far from stupid. Don't you want to know why I am here?"  
I nodded. "I wouldn't mind," I muttered.  
Her pale lips formed a smile again. "You know those dreams you've been having?" she asked.  
"Of course," I said, wishing I had forgotten.  
Her laughs again echoed through the small room. "They're my memories. I'm sorry they have disturbed you," she said.  
I stood up, feeling very frustrated with her. "Why am I seeing YOUR memories?" I asked.  
"Because I'm in you. I wish Severus had read the damn note. I wanted to start over again, so I could be with him. I'm sorry it was you Harry, I really am, but after he who shall not be named attacked you, I knew you were perfect. If you could handle him as an infant, then you should have been able to handle my memories. I went inside of you after you were attacked of course," she floated off of the pile and stood to look at me. "You resemble your father, not me. The only reason Severus sees me in you is because he wants to."  
"So the only reason I'm attracted to him is because of you?" I asked.  
I watched her eyebrow raise. "I'm afraid not. Originally I thought so, but at his funeral, I knew it wasn't just me. So I sent us back," she said.  
I grabbed her arm. "It's your fault I'm here?" I yelled.  
My hand went through her arm and her eyes burned red and her appearance became more hideous. "It's _YOURS_. You were the one that wanted to do this," her lips were moving. "It's your curse, not mine."  
Her voice continued on in my head. I covered my ears and started to scream, hoping the phantom would leave me alone.  
  
I felt myself being shaken awake. "Fuck Harry," Severus cursed. "I've never heard you so loud."  
He sighed lightly. Were his arms around me? "Sorry," my throat was sore.  
I quickly took advantage of him being there. I rested my head against his chest and curled up against him. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.  
I felt myself start to doze off again. "You'd be mad," I said.  
His fingers ran through my hair. "I doubt that," he said.  
I closed my eyes and tried to decide the best way to tell him. I've been possessed by your ex-girlfriend and she's haunting my dreams. I decided to do something else instead. I opened my eyes and watched his patient eyes. I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. 


	8. Opposites Attract

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: He does have a point, I swear! So...enjoy  
  
**_Until Death and After  
_**  
**Chapter Eight:** _Opposites Attract  
_  
He pulled away from me and dropped me, hard, on the floor. "Should I even ask?" he said. "Do you think you're still asleep?"  
I watched him stand up, away from me. I slid myself across the ground beside my bed. "Are you ready to hear this?" I asked.  
"I'm sick of most of your stories, Mr. Potter," he said.  
"You go from Harry, to Mr. Potter. What's it going to be?" I asked.  
Mood swings, calm down Harry, just tell him. I watched his eyes stare at me, rather stunned. "It's Harry," his eyes looked into me. "I'm sorry. I'm ready to hear whatever you have to say."  
I smiled lightly and moved onto my bed. "I've been having this really..." I searched for the perfect word, "Fucked up dreams. Slitting my wrists, carving 'fuck' into my knee, mauling random guys, sleeping with guys. It's been rather horrible. I didn't seem myself."  
"Which explains the screaming," he sat down beside me on the bed.  
I looked at him and smiled lightly. "The thing was, was that I wasn't myself. I was Victoria... your Vic..." I said, and waited for his response.  
He leaned in close to me, his lips almost touching my ear. "If this is a joke... Harry, then it is NOT funny," he said sternly.  
I shoved him off of me. "I'm not joking. I don't know what's going on, but today," I could feel myself start to breakdown. How could I tell this man this? She hurt him before; does he even want to hear about her? "She came to me in my dream. She told me she was... part of me."  
He watched me carefully as I waited for a reaction. I felt tears start to form in my eyes; I could tell he was not happy with me. "Harry, I should have never told you about her. Just forget about it," he stood up from the bed.  
I watched him head towards the door. "Wait!" I stood up. "She... she said that you should have read the note."  
I'm just irritating him. Leave him alone. He grabbed my arm and threw me away from him. I tripped over a nightstand and hit my head against the wall. His hand went into his pocket as he threw an envelope at me. "You read it then," he continued to stroll from the room. "Now try to get some sleep."  
He didn't look at me when he left. I felt the tears fall onto my face. I should have just left him alone. I looked at the envelope on my lap. I stood up and picked up the envelope. I wiped my face on my sleeve. Vic's voice went through my head. "Talk to him," it echoed.  
"Leave me alone!" I screamed into the lonely darkness.  
She didn't respond. Why had I never heard her until now? I walked out of my room and looked around. Severus was sitting at the table, reading a novel. There was a single candle lit in the middle of the table. I sat down across from him and watched him read. He looked at up at me for a moment and sighed. He looked back down for a moment to finish what he was reading. "Can't sleep?" he asked and placed a bookmark in his book.  
I smiled at his unimpressed face. "Don't want to," I said. A slight eye roll was his response. "Can you read with just one candle?" I asked.  
"Could you sleep if I had on more than one?"  
I shrugged. "Probably not..."  
"Do you pester your friends like this in the middle of the night as well?" he asked.  
I shook my head. "Not usually, but they usually sleep."  
A smile tried to appear on his face. "Well, I don't want to sleep either."  
I put the envelope on the table and pushed it to him. "It's none of my business," I said. "I shouldn't have pried."  
His eyes looked at the wrinkled letter as I stood up from the table. "Do you know why I keep it with me?" he asked.  
I turned to face him. "Not really," my eyes lowered, even though he wasn't even looking at me.  
He ran his longer fingers across the envelope. "To me, these are the last words she's ever going to say to me... I just don't want to let her go," his eyes raised to stare at me. They were filled with a pain I couldn't understand. "I'm sorry... for pushing you..."  
I walked over to him. I wanted to hug him and take all of his pain away. "It's fine," I said.  
He ran his hand across my arm. "Professor Dumbledore said you didn't have to go to classes today," he felt the material. "Are you still wearing your uniform?"  
I shrugged. "I was too tired to change," I said.  
His hand reached mine; he held onto it for a moment. "There's a washroom attached to your room, in case you're looking for it," he said.  
I nodded. His hand left mine alone and cold. "I'll try to go back to bed," I said.  
His head raised and lowered into a nod and he went back to reading. I walked back into my room and pulled the door too. My clothes dropped to the ground, leaving me in my undergarments. I crawled back into the silky sheets and started to sleep.  
  
I turned over and felt Severus' strong arms reach around me. His soft lips pressed against the back of my neck. Was I just dreaming again? He felt so real... I turned back around to face him. He looked a lot younger. His hair was longer and his face was less wrinkled. His nose still sat in the centre, but was just large, not crooked. It was just a dream. I sighed lightly. "What's wrong?" he asked, with concern in his eyes. "Was everything not up to your high standards?"  
I laughed lightly. Did I have control over myself? I wrapped my arms tightly around him and kissed his bare chest. "I love you," I said. "More than anything."  
He tensed up, but kept his arms around my bare back. He smiled and kissed me, but he never gave a response. This frustrated me, I didn't know why though. The door was kicked open. A boy walked in. "Hey Sam," Severus said to him.  
I quickly noted that he was his roommate, his first friend. Sam looked at me, and I quickly covered myself. I was Victoria. "What's she doing here?" he said as casual as he could. He didn't seem impressed that I was there.  
Severus slid his arm around me. "We were just having a little fun. If I knew you didn't want her to be here, I would have cancelled," I said.  
Sam shrugged. He had short, blonde hair and pale white eyes. He looked the opposite of Severus. "If you had cancelled then she'd be fucking someone else in the building anyway," he said.  
"Excuse me?" Severus asked, letting go of me.  
He stood up, ready to defend her. "You know she sleeps around, right? Obviously she's not loyal," Sam said.  
"I know," his eyes looked at me, cowering under the sheets.  
"Then why do you stay with her?" Sam asked.  
Severus looked down, not saying anything. "Can you just say it once?" I asked.  
He turned to me. He quickly took Sam's side. "I can't love someone who acts as if she's some kind of whore," he said.  
I no longer cared if my feminine figure wasn't covered, so I stood up and used all of my force to punch him in the face. Several drops of blood dropped from his nose as I grabbed my clothes and stormed out of the room.  
  
I sat up straight in my bed, awake. I looked down at my fist, there was nothing. I smiled lightly. It was just another damned memory. How am I going to explain everything to Severus without him getting upset? Do I even have to tell him? I stretched and got out of bed. I wouldn't tell him, I'd tell him that I overreacted and it was just a nightmare, and then apologize for saying what I did.  
I walked from the room too see a man standing with Severus. I watched him for a moment, trying to figure out what he was doing in Severus' room. He leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. I slipped back into my room and shut the door. Of course, Severus said he wasn't single. It was obvious. I quickly remembered what he looked like, the long blonde hair and light coloured eyes. It was his roommate, Sam. My bedroom door opened as Severus poked his head in. "Harry?" he asked.  
"I didn't mean to interrupt!" I said.  
"You didn't," he laughed. "You're welcome to come in. He wants to meet you."  
I nodded and walked in behind Severus. "So this is the famous Harry Potter," the man said.  
"I'm told so," I smiled at the man.  
He shook my hand. "So what're you doing hanging around with an old guy like Severus?" he asked.  
"I've been having night terrors, so I've been put here. It's just because I've been waking up my peers during the night, and we figured that down here I wouldn't bother anyone," I said.  
"Ah," Sam smiled. "At least Severus knows how to take care of guy," he nudged Severus playfully.  
Severus smiled at his male companion and looked to me. "If you're going to go to school you might want to get ready," Severus said.  
I nodded. "I will," I said. "It was nice meeting you Sam."  
I started to walk to my room, but he grabbed my shoulder. "I never said my name was Sam," he looked at Severus.  
"Sorry... I just thought... I guess I was wrong," I said.  
"No," he said. "I am Sam. Has Severus said something?" I watched Severus shake his head causing Sam to look back at me. He touched the chain around my neck. "Isn't this Victoria's?" he turned to Severus, "Is there something I should know about?"  
Severus looked down, slightly embarrassed. "I gave it to him. He was sick and-"  
"You gave it to him? You wouldn't take the damn thing off! What makes him so special?" he asked.  
I watched Severus glare at him. "You didn't let me finish! He was sick, and you know it's supposed to grant protection. He needed it more than I did at the time," he said.  
"Well," Sam crossed his arms. "He's not sick now. Shouldn't he give it back?"  
I raised my hand. "Night terrors," I stated.  
"Severus is sleeping in the next room, do you really need his necklace too?" Sam glared at me.  
"I guess not..."  
I started to take of the chain, but Severus stopped me. "He shouldn't have too. The chain wasn't helping me, so I hoped it'd help him," his eyes lowered. "Harry, tell him what you were going to tell me... when you woke up during the night."  
I looked at him and then at Sam. "Victoria is inside of me. I'm not too sure why, but she's there. I've been dreaming of her memories and one time she actually came to me. It's not pleasant," I said.  
"So... I was in one of your dreams?" Sam asked.  
I nodded. "The last one actually," I said.  
Sam ran one of his smooth fingers against my cheek. "He does slightly resemble her. He looks more like his father though," he raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean you have... feelings for Severus?"  
What the hell was I supposed to say? "No," I said.  
Sam seemed like an over-protective person, so I lied. "Good," he smiled.  
"I have to get ready for school," I saw a wonderful opportunity to flee from the room. "It was nice meeting you."  
I fled into my room, grabbed my clothes and walked into the bathroom. Severus had someone, so I was going to be stuck here for longer than I thought. I sighed and started to run the shower.  
  
The day had seemed to fly by and luckily, Hermione fixed the prescription on my glasses, so I could see things clearer. Not that it was terrible before. I walked into Severus' chamber and planned to clean the guest room. He didn't acknowledge my presence as I walked into the room. His eyes blankly stared down at the novel, but it was easy to tell that he wasn't reading it. "Are you okay?" I asked.  
He looked up at me for a quick moment. "If you don't mind Harry, I would prefer to be alone. You're still welcome in the guest room though," he said.  
I nodded. "I'm sorry if I messed up anything..."  
He blinked. "It's fine. If he got all worked up over something like that, it wouldn't have worked out anyway."  
I left him alone and started to clean the room. At least I didn't have to worry about any competition. 


	9. The Age

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter  
  
A/N: It's almost finished, and I actually know where I'm going. Enjoy!  
  
**_Until Death and After_**  
  
**Chapter Nine:** _The Age  
_  
My stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten a meal to replace supper. I set down my comic book and stood up off my bed. I didn't hear Snape move or anything, although I never did. I walked out from the bedroom and attempted to sneak out. I couldn't help glancing at Severus as I skulked by. The candle was almost all out and wax covered the table. He was on the last page of his novel, but it seemed as if he kept reading over the last page. "I'm going to get something to eat... do you want me to bring you back something?" I asked, careful not to startle him.  
His eyes rose to look at me. "What?" he looked back down at the book. "Yeah, sure. It doesn't matter what you bring."  
"Okay," I said and left the room quickly.  
I walked into the great hall, even though everyone was there already. I slunk into a seat beside Ron. There was still a plate set up for me. "Where have you been?" Ron asked. "I thought you were going to skip supper or something."  
"And miss out talking to my friends, never," I smiled a greeting at Hermione.  
I looked over in the direction of the teachers. "How's the room anyway? Is Snape bothering you?" Hermione asked.  
"No, he's not bothering me," I said. Dumbledore waved for me to come over. "I'll be right back," I said.  
I stood up and walked over to where he was. "Is Professor Snape dining tonight?" he asked me.  
I shook my head. "He's feeling under the weather," I started. "I'm going to bring him something to eat."  
Dumbledore nodded. "Okay," he said. "Let him know I'm stopping by later to discuss something with him."  
"I'll let him know, sir," I said and started to walk off.  
"And Harry," he said slightly louder so I could hear him. I turned to look at him. "I recommend soup!"  
I smiled and wandered back to my seat. The rest of the meal went normally, with conversation about classes. Ron and Hermione didn't ask about my night terrors, but that was probably for the best. As usual, all was not perfect. I felt as if I was being watched, and I ate much slower. I looked around trying to find the watchful eye. "Harry?" Ron hit my back, figuring out that I had tuned him out.  
I turned to look at him, then found the grey eyes watching me indiscreetly. I looked away casually, as if I hadn't seen Draco's obvious stare. "Sorry Ron," I said. "I'm rather tired. I think I'm just going to try to get some sleep."  
I shook my head lightly, feeling my eyelids lower. Hermione touched my arm as I stood "Are you going to be alright Harry? Do you need anything?" she asked, with a concerned look in her eyes.  
"Just some sleep," I said. I turned to look at my loyal friends. "I'm sorry I've been... off lately. Thanks... for being there for me, and putting up with it."  
Ron and Hermione smiled in unison. "Come on Harry," Ron said.  
Hermione finished his sentence. "We've been through a lot together. It's not like our friendship would just end," she said.  
I forced a smile at him, and held back my tired tears. I picked up my fill plate, with soup and I walked away, knowing that that's what happened. All of us went our separate ways and hardly spoke. Now, I'm upset to think that I could ever let that happen, but then... then I didn't really care. Upon leaving, I still felt Draco watching me. A chill went up my spine as I shut the doors behind me. I darted back to the room, eager to be alone. I knew Severus wouldn't bother me. When I walked back to the room, he acknowledged my existence. He had brought several more candles, and lit up the room nicely. "How was it?" he asked, as if I had gone someplace spectacular and exciting.  
"It was a meal," I said. "I brought yours."  
I slid the soup on the table, spilling some on my hand. I cursed feeling the slight burn. Luckily, it wasn't as hot as when it was first cooked. "Is everything alright?" Severus asked, with a surprisingly worried expression on his face.  
Now he's worried? Now? "I'm fine," I said, frustrated.  
He smiled victoriously. "Now who doesn't want to talk?"  
I wiped my hand on my shirt. "Do you really want to talk about it?" I asked.  
His kicked the chair across from him out from under the table. "Sit down," he said, calmly.  
I quickly obeyed him and sat down. I watched him, letting curiosity take over me. "Professor Dumbledore says that he's going to stop by later," I said.  
He nodded. "I don't plan on going out tonight," he replied. He waited for me to begin, but I guessed that he realized I was not interested, so he began. "He forced me to read the letter. He said he refused to get in the way, if I had a second chance with Victoria," he looked down for a moment and twirled the spoon in the soup. "She said she'd come back for me and apologized for what she had done. She said that knew that I preferred the same gender, so she'd find a male for me..." he looked up at me, waiting for any kind of response.  
I shrugged. "I'm sorry," I said. "But I didn't choose this. I wouldn't purposely break up your relationships."  
His dipped his spoon into his soup and started to eat it, carefully. "I know Harry, don't worry. I suppose you told everyone I was feeling sick?"  
"Under the weather," I quoted myself. "I didn't want to pry in your personal life, nor let them pry."  
He let the spoon drop into the soup. "I look ridiculous eating this," he chuckled lightly. "You couldn't have brought crackers?"  
I smiled at his attempt to lighten the moment. "Dumbledore suggested soup," I decided to ask my own question. "Why did you keep reading the last page?"  
He slid the book across the table. "I didn't understand the ending. It's a romance," I started to read the back. "In the last chapter, the male and the female get into a fight because of mistrust. In the epilogue, she makes it years later... and they get back together. It was a happy ending, even though it was barely ended. I didn't understand why... she didn't end it at the last chapter."  
"People like happy endings," I said, looking at the artwork on the cover.  
"It takes you less than a minute and it takes me most of the night," he sighed lightly. "I still enjoyed it. You can have it."  
"I'll read it, and then give it back," I smiled. "I've taken too much from you."  
He stood up and walked over to me. He knelt down, so his head was level with my arm. "Why do you think she sent you back in time?" he asked.  
I shrugged and watched his face. I longed to touch it. "She told me..." I thought about what she said. "She told me that she wasn't the only one that cared for you," I remembered her horrid wilted face when she became angry with me; cursed phantom. "It's my fault I came back. I guess I did something wrong the first time around."  
I ran one of my fingers along his crooked nose. He snatched my hand as soon as I had finished. I quickly worried that I had angered him. His lips brushed against my knuckles. "Maybe it's time for you to catch some sleep, you look tired," he said.  
A smile stretched across his lips as he released my hand from his warm grasp. I nodded in agreement. I took the book and walked into my room. "Good night," I said to him as I pulled the door to.  
I let a yawn escape from my mouth and removed everything except for my boxers. I put the book down on the nightstand beside my bed and slid underneath the cold covers. I let my head sink into a pillow and closed my eyes, waiting for another nightmare to appear. I felt time pass and felt my eyelids become heavier. I heard the door creak open, but I didn't dare to open my eyes. I feared a past that I could not handle. A warm body snuggled close against my body. I felt his breath against my neck. "Harry," I felt Severus' strong arms slide around me. "I don't think I can be alone tonight."  
I smiled to myself and ran my hands across his. It wasn't a dream. Sleep quickly began to sit in with the warmth of Severus beside me. A loud knock startled me out of what I had hoped was sleep. Severus' arms let go of me as he groaned. He muttered something, but I didn't catch his words. I heard him open the door. "Sleep finally found you?" I heard Albus Dumbledore's voice ask.  
"Just wishing," Severus replied. "Harry told me you were going to stop by."  
"Harry? You've become closer," I'm sure Dumbledore was smiling. "Is he up? I wouldn't mind talking to him as well."  
"I'll check," he said.  
I watched his tall silhouette check on me. He knew I wasn't asleep. "Are you awake Harry?" he whispered, loud enough for Dumbledore to hear.  
"Yeah," I replied, half asleep.  
Severus undid the chain and set it down on the counter. He winked and walked out of my room. "He's awake," he said to Dumbledore.  
I stumbled out of the room, wishing I had brought a blanket with me. I felt as if my feet were going to turn to ice. "You might want to sit down," Dumbledore said to me.  
I felt my head nod, as if I was in a trance as I sat down at the table. Both of my professors sat down at the table around me as if I was going to break apart. "What's this about?" Severus was more curious than I was.  
"Hermione Granger brought it to my attention that she put a new prescription on your glasses," he started. "And then Professor Snape mentioned that you seem taller."  
I rubbed my clammy hands against my boxers. My clothes were feeling tighter. "She did," I said. "I hadn't gotten a new prescription in a while anyway."  
"Well," Albus said. "You claim to be from the future, right? It wasn't from a time turner, or else you'd look older. Do you know how you went through time?"  
I looked at Severus. "I don't know," I said. "I just did."  
Albus looked sternly at me. "I think what's happening, is that you're aging faster because the time travel wasn't done properly," he said. "I'm not sure when it will slow down. Do you know if you can get back?"  
"I don't know..." I said, feeling stupid. "I'm... getting older?"  
Albus nodded. "I believe so," he said. "I recommend finding a way back."  
"Will I age at normal speed when I reach my normal age?" I asked.  
"I doubt it," Albus said. I probably had a very sick expression on my face. "I'll leave you two to sleep. We'll discuss things further in the morning."  
"Good night," I said as he left the room.  
Severus looked at me. "How is this going to work?" he asked.  
"I was hoping one morning I'd just wake up at home again," I said.  
"How'd it happen?" he asked. "I mean... how did you get sent here in the first place? What happened to make you come here?"  
"I got hit by a car," I said.  
He ran his hand through his silky hair. I wished that I was touching his hair. "Well, I don't really feel like running you over," he muttered. "Can you talk to Victoria about this?"  
I nodded. "I'll try tonight," I said.  
He stood up and looked at me with his dark eyes. "You understand why I took off the necklace, right?"  
"Yeah," I said. "I wouldn't want to try to explain something like that."  
He smiled and messed up my hair. "Smart boy," he said.  
I stood up and entwined my fingers with his. "I am going to try now then," I said. "But... I might need someone there... in case things get bad."  
"I was hoping you'd let me back in," he laughed lightly.  
I pulled him into my bedroom and let go of him. I went back under my covers like I had done before we were interrupted. Severus hesitated. I felt the bed move as he sat down on it. It was easy to tell he wasn't lying down. I turned to where he sat and ran my hand across his bare back. He shivered from my touch; it was easy to tell it bothered him. "I know you miss her," I said. "I don't want to replace her."  
He turned to look at me. I couldn't see his eyes, but I knew he was watching me. "I know Harry," he said. "Don't worry."  
I nodded and turned around. I doubted that I would feel his warm body back up against my back before I fell asleep, or even during the night. I suspected that he planned on leaving. I was too tired to argue with him, and yawned. I needed to see Victoria, even though I didn't want too. He ran his hand against my face. "Good night Harry," he whispered into my ear. 


	10. The Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter

A/N: Second last chapter! I hope you like it! My stuff wouldn't upload properly, so bear with me until I can re-post it properly. Enjoy!

_**Until Death and After **_

**Chapter Ten:** _The Dream _

I awoke as if someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes as a gasp escaped from my lips. Severus' arms tightened around my waist and his nose rubbed against my neck. "Are you alright?" he muttered, probably still asleep.  
"Fine," I said.  
I ran my hand against his leg, making sure he was wearing some sort of undergarments. Thankfully, he was, so I guessed I wasn't raped during the night... not that Severus would rape me, but he did get the wrong idea. "You want to have some fun?" he whispered, definitely asleep.  
"I- I- I," I stuttered, feeling myself start to blush.  
One of his hands started to move across my leg as he kissed my neck. "Why are you so twitchy Sam?"  
Sam? I slid out of his grip and onto the floor. "Sam?" I questioned aloud.  
My voice, or the large "thump" from me hitting the ground awoke Severus from whatever kind of dream he was having. Of course, he was awoken as quickly as I had hoped and turned over. I stood up and grabbed the necklace and decided to leave and not mention what he had attempted to do.  
I found my feet doing most of the walking and ending up in the washroom. I slid my feet against the cold tiles and started warm water in the shower. My undergarments fell to the ground as I stepped in and let the warm water rush against my body. I felt as if my body was shutting itself down. My eyelids began to lower and my legs grew weak. I sat down, feeling weak, not tired. "Harry?" Severus' voice was too close.  
"Showering," I said, keeping my speech short. "Don't come in."  
I heard him laugh over the sound of the water. "It's too late, I can't see anything," I heard him sit down. "I'm sorry."  
I let the water mix with the tears now falling from my face. "For what?" I choked.  
It hadn't even been a day since Sam had left Severus; it makes sense that he'd still be thinking about me. I'm just a student. "For... what I did. It's early," he said. "I'm not used to, well, it's been awhile-"  
I cut him off; I didn't feel like discussing it. "I didn't have a dream," I said.  
"What?" he asked.  
I opened my eyes, feeling the tears rushing down my face. I made a mistake, but I couldn't figure out where. "Vic didn't come to me. I don't know how to get back," I said. "I didn't dream anything."  
"Don't worry," Severus said. I noticed his silhouetted head turn to look at me. "We'll figure out something."  
"Okay," I took a deep breath, and watched him leave the room.  
  
Ron's chuckles broke me from the trance that I was in. "Look at him, he's a mess," he whispered to me. "Rumour is, is that he boyfriend dumped him. Did you know his door swung that way?"  
I nodded. "I did," I said, letting my head fall onto my desk.  
I watched Severus Snape write crooked across the board. "He definitely seems off."  
"He hasn't hit on you, has he?" Ron eagerly asked.  
I attempted to shake my head, but quickly realized that my head was on the desk. "No, of course not. He's my teacher," I said, scanning over the instructions that he had written on the board.  
I heard Ron start to tell a story about him and Hermione. I felt my eyes lower, but opened them widely as I noticed Victoria sitting on Severus' desk. She waved to me and shouted up at me, "I didn't get a chance to talk to you last night."  
"I know," I said. "Was it because..." I looked at Ron. "Because I was happy?"  
She shook her head as her hideous laughter filled the classroom. "You weren't wearing the necklace," she said, as if I was a moron.  
I put my arms tightly around the chain that hung around my neck. "I wouldn't if I were you. You do want to go back, don't you?" Her laughter again filled the classroom.  
No one noticed her, except for me. "I... do," I said with more confidence than I should have.  
Severus walked by her and told us to take out our equipment. I watched Victoria run her hand against his chest. Her emerald eyes watched for my reaction. I clenched a fist; why was I so angry? He, of course, continued working. She grasped his hand, which was holding onto a beaker. It looked as if it was going to break in his hands. "STOP!" I screamed at her.  
Apparently, I wasn't as invisible as Victoria. She disappeared moments after the words left my mouth. The class stared at me, wondering why I questioned our potion master's potion making skill. "Stop what, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked, with more concern in his voice than he should have.  
"I... I-erm... I..." I stuttered, feeling tears streaming down my face.  
The beaker was, now, broken and cutting into his hand. Why didn't he notice? "The beaker... your hand..." I watched several drops of blood fall to the floor.  
Severus set down the beaker; there was no blood on it. He lifted his hand to look at it and of course, it was fine. He ran one of his fingers against his palm, and then looked up at me. "Are you okay Harry?" he asked.  
I wiped my face with my sleeve. "I... I don't know," I whispered, looking down.  
Ron leaned to hear me. "What did he say Mr. Weasley?" Severus asked.  
"I didn't hear him either," Ron shouted to him. He snickered quietly to me, "He called you Harry, Harry."  
I took off the necklace. "I'm fine, Professor Snape," I said.  
"I'll continue then," he said and continued his talk.  
Ron started to take out the supplies and whispered to me. "He called you Harry!" he laughed low just to me.  
"I guess I've befriended him," I said, shoving the cursed chain into my pocket.  
"So... what happened?" he asked.  
"N-nothing happened! We just hung out and talked," I said.  
Ron stared blankly at me. "I mean," he said. "When you flipped out..."  
"Oh," I felt my face burn. "I thought I saw something, that I didn't."  
"Really?" he looked at me. "Like what?"  
My eyes fell, I couldn't tell him. I remembered this from the first time I was in my seventh year. "Come on Harry," he touched my shoulder. "You can tell me."  
"I can't," I felt my sorrows turn into salty tears. "You wouldn't understand."  
Ron's hand shot up. "Professor Snape!" he didn't wait for him to answer. "Harry's sick, may I please take him to the infirmary?"  
Ron covered my mouth as I tried to protest. "That's fine," he said. "Take Miss. Granger with you, she probably feels out of the loop."  
Hermione grabbed my legs and Ron put his arms around my waist so they could carry me out as if I was actually sick. I didn't bother protesting, since I figured Severus had already figured it out. After we left, Ron and Hermione dropped me, rather hard, on the ground just moments after we left the classroom. "That was rather rude," I muttered, rubbing my bottom.  
"We just got you out of class," Hermione said. "Well, Ron got us out of class. You should be more grateful."  
We started to walk towards the inventory. "Maybe it'll be important," I said.  
"You actually want to listen to his infernal blither?" Ron said. "I think you've grown too close."  
"Harry, he won't even get into the part where we actually make the potion. You know the first class is all the history," Hermione said. They started to pick me up again. "Even I don't find it that important." Ron and I stared blankly at Hermione. "Okay, I do find it slightly important, but Harry's health is more important."  
I was lifted into the infirmary and tossed down lightly on the bed. "Okay, it's not that important," I said.  
Ron pulled up a chair and sat down. "So, what was it that you saw?" he asked.  
Hermione copied Ron by pulling up another chair beside him. Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. I looked around and decided to change the topic. "You said I've gotten to close to Se... Professor Snape, but what about you and Hermione?" I said.  
"Well," Ron sheepishly looked at Hermione. "You haven't been around as much... I guess we've become rather close."  
"See it from my point of view," I said. "I'm having night terrors, I'm stuck in a different room than everyone else and my two best friends are ogling each other. Obviously I'm going to befriend the person I'm rooming with. To be honest, he's not that bad of a guy," I said.  
Ron leaned over to Hermione. "He means us right?" he joked, trying to slice through the tension in the air.  
Madam Pomfrey walked in and noticed me laying down. "Mr. Potter?" she asked. "What's wrong?"  
Hermione covered for me. "We were in potions and he screamed and almost passed out. It was horrible, so Professor Snape sent us here," she said.  
Madam Pomfrey nodded and looked at me. "I'll get Harry something that will help him sleep, that's probably what he needs," she left quickly.  
"I saw the girl from my night terror and she was going to hurt Severus," I said, basically on impulse. I didn't want to loose my friends again. "I'm sorry for not telling you right away."  
I watched Ron and Hermione smile at each other. "It's okay Harry," Ron said.  
Madam Pomfrey rushed back in and handed me a glass of water. "You two should head back to class. Harry'll be fine," she said.  
I drank some of the water while I watch the three of them leave. I pulled the cool chain out from inside my pocket. As I drank the rest of the water I wondered if talking to Victoria again would be of any value. I slipped the chain back around my back and laid back on the pillow. Victoria floated onto a chair that Hermione had been sitting on. "Twice in one day," she said. "You didn't like me hurting you dear Sevy did you?"  
I crossed my arms, "No actually. I didn't," I said. "How do I get back?"  
"What if it's all the same when you get back?" she crossed her arms, mocking me.  
I rubbed my arm. "It won't," I said.  
"Trust me," a small demonic smirk appeared on her face. "I live in the back of your mind. I know what you're thinking. Couldn't you just stay here? Eventually you're age would catch up anyway."  
She tilted her head in one direction waiting for a response. "But what if my age keeps going," I noted how my pants had become uncomfortably tight. "I would die."  
"But wouldn't it be fun?" she leaned over to talk to me. "You could be locked up in this school with him. Alone in his secluded room, no one would hear anything."  
She winked at me. "I ask you again, how do I get back?" I asked.  
"The same way you got here," she said.  
"I'm supposed to get hit by another car?" I asked.  
She looked at a non-existent watch on her wrist. "Time to wake up!" she screeched loudly.  
I sat up in a cold sweat. I really couldn't stand her voice. Severus jumped at my sudden movement. "Class?" I asked.  
"Just making sure you're okay," he smiled.  
"I saw her," I said.  
"She was trying to cut your hand! I don't think she wants me to go back."  
He leaned over me. "You should," he said. "Things will be better."  
I looked into his trusting eyes. "How do you know?" I asked, not wanting to loose Severus again.  
"Trust me, okay?" he asked.  
I nodded, realizing that he had figured out a way to send me back. "Okay," I said. "I... I trust you."  
He leaned over and pressed his lips lightly against mine. "Close your eyes," he said. "I'll make sure it doesn't hurt."  
I looked at Severus one last time, and closed my eyes feeling his hand brush up against my forehead. My senses numbed; it felt like a dream.


	11. Memory Loss

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter

A/N: And it's complete! I hope you enjoyed reading it!! All the reviews were lovely, but, if you get a chance, let me know what you thought of the entire thing. Enjoy!!

**_Until Death and After_**

**Chapter Eleven:** _Memory Loss_

The taste of alcohol awakened me. The smell of grass brought another sense back to my mind. I turned over and opened my eyes, guessing that I was originally face down in the grass. I quickly had to shield my eyes, since the rain was pouring out from the clouds above. I sat up and looked around to see where I was. A cemetery. A cemetery? Rain dripped off of my nose. I cursed myself. Maybe it was just a dream. I turned around to look at the tombstone behind me. In big bold letters "Severus Snape" was carved into the stone. "But... I changed everything," I said to the tombstone. "I changed it!"

It stared blankly at me, not trying to comfort me. I rubbed my neck awkwardly telling myself not to cry. I felt the chain around my neck. "That means..." I looked to the stone once more. "I missed it," I sighed. "I missed everything."

I felt the tears rushing off my face as I lowered my head and hugged the tombstone. I pushed my face against the cold stone. Why was it turning out like that? I heard footsteps walking towards me. I turned to face him. "Severus?" I questioned.

A laugh came from Draco Malfoy. "Go figure you'd be here," he said. He paused. "Did you call me Severus?"

"Sorry," I said. "I thought you were someone else."

Draco held the umbrella over me. "If you're going to mourn, you mine as well be dry. What're you doing at his tombstone anyway?" he asked.

"I... I don't remember," I said.

Draco sat down beside me and muttered something about getting his suit dirty. His long blonde hair rested on my shoulder. "They told me you got fired," he said. "Do you need a pick me up?"

He put his arm tightly around my back. I nodded uneasily, "Yeah," I said. "I think I do."

A smile stretched across his face. "Okay," he brushed his lips against my cheek.

His hand found it's way into mine. I looked at his hand; we both had wedding rings on. Was I married to Draco? "I think I've lost my memory," I said, pulling away from the persistent Draco.

How could I abandon Snape for Draco? He picked the umbrella once more and stood up. He hand out his smooth hand to help me get up. "You were drinking, I'm not surprised," he said.

I stood up myself, not sure I wanted to be with Draco. I wiped my muddy hands against my pants. I noticed a tall, slim figure approach us. I ran to who I hoped was Severus. "Harry?" his voice stopped me in my tracks. I looked up at Severus. He basically looked the same except his silky black hair had several grey highlights. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

The rain caused his hair to cling to his face. "I... I was mourning you," I pointed to his grave.

He chuckled. "Were you mourning yourself too?" he pointed to the tombstone next to his. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yes," I said. I probably had been, I just lost my job. I walked back to where his tombstone was and looked at the one next to his. "Am I dead too?"

Carved into tombstone was my name. "Harry, we bought those, in case we couldn't afford it on another occasion," his eyes watched Draco. "Because... you said you wanted to be buried with me."

I nodded. "I still do," I said.

A smiled stretched across his thin face. Draco spoke up. "He told me that he lost some of his memory. He really thought you were dead," he said.

Severus put his arm around me. "Well he'll just have to go back to the house to get back up on his feet," he said.

I nodded. "You'll show me where, right?" I asked.

"Actually, I was in the middle of something, but your boss called and said you were rather upset," Severus said. "I'll get a cab for you."

"I'll take him, sir," Draco said.

Severus bit his bottom lip and looked down. He was having trouble making eye contact with Draco. "Do you want him to Harry?"

"Sure," I said, hoping that Draco could fill in some things for me.

Snape looked hurt. "I'll see you at home," he ran his hand against my back.

Draco held his umbrella overtop of my head once more. "Come on," Draco smiled handsomely. "You didn't think I walked here did you?"

I walked beside Draco in silence. He opened the car door for me to let me in. I sat down carefully and examined his car. He slid down in the seat beside me. "So how much don't you remember?" he asked, starting the car.

"Everything before seventh year," I said.

"So," he was silent, probably thinking about how to say what he wanted to say. "You remember what I tried to do to you?"

I nodded. "Yes," I said.

"I apologized for that," he smiled at me.

I smiled back. "I guessed as much," I said.

"I'll quickly say everything," he said. "You graduated, got an awesome job, married Severus, started to have an affair with me, made lots of money, got cocky, lost your job."

"I'm having an affair with you?" I asked, realizing why Severus looked so hurt.

"Well, the old man isn't exactly home all the time," he said.

"Does he know?"

"Probably," he said. "He's probably doing the same thing with one of his students," he pulled into what I guessed to be my driveway. He put his hand on my leg. "It's nothing to worry about."

He smiled and walked out of the car. Even thought I tried again, my life still went to hell. I walked out of the car and followed him into the house. "Roxanne," he shouted as he walked in.

I heard footsteps as a woman walked down the stairs. It was my wife... ex-wife... from the first time I lived. "Roxie?" I asked, rather stunned.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" she asked.

She was my maid. "He lost his memory," Draco said.

"And my job," I said.

"How does he know me then?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I lied. "Just one of those faces I guess."

Draco grabbed my hand. "So I'm going to remind him a little better," he winked.

I watched a thin girl walk into the room as she shouted, "Roxie I'm back!"

She paused in my presence. "What're you doing home?" she crossed her arms.

"Fired," I said.

"Go figure," she stared blankly at Draco.

Roxie put her arm on the girl's shoulder. "Your dad has lost his memory."

Dad? "Got too wasted, eh?" she said.

Draco spoke up in my defence. "He just lost his job, cut him some slack Kira."

"Cut him some slack?" she crossed her arms. She did remind me of Severus. "He gets fired, gets drunk and then goes to fuck you."

"Kira?" I asked, looking at the girl.

"My father named me," her bright green eyes watched me. "You were at work."

I was still a terrible father. She was rather pale, skinny and had long, black hair. She must have liked Severus more than I, if she went to Hogwarts she probably saw him more too. "I'm... sorry," I said.

She hugged me tightly. "It's okay, you don't remember any of it anyway," she said. "It's summer, so we finally get to spend some time together."

I hugged her back, feeling terrible. Why didn't it work the second time around? I heard Draco clear his throat as I released my daughter. "I have to be at work in ten minutes," he said. "Can I have some time with your dad?"

"Fine," she sighed.

I walked up to Draco, not sure if I wanted to do anything. "What's that?" he asked, glaring at my neck.

"What?" I said, feeling the chain around my neck.

"That piece of shit Snape gave you," he said. "You told me you got rid of it."

I smiled. "Well, I love him," I said.

He ripped the chain from my neck and dropped it to the ground. "The reason you're with me is because you _don't_ love him," he seemed to soften. "Y-you love me."

The green pearl from the necklace rolled across the floor. "I don't," I said. "I don't know what I felt then, but I know what I feel now."

I tried not to be rude, but I ended up crushing him. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying," he said, in a panic.

"I feel sober enough," I replied.

"But..." he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You don't remember anything. You can't do this to me."

I took his arms off of me. "I DO remember that I love Severus, and I don't know what possessed me to like someone like you," I felt my eyes narrow into a glare. "Please leave my house."

He glared at me. "Fuck you Potter," he said, covering his face.

I watched him flip his blonde hair and walk out of the house. "Dad?" Kira asked.

I turned to face my daughter once more. "Yes?" I asked.

"You adored Mr. Malfoy. Why... did you make him leave?" she asked. "I'm not complaining of course..."

"I don't know what came over me," I said. I quickly caught on to her dad/father thing. I was her dad, which made Severus her father. "But I adore your father, even if he is barely around. Things are going to be slightly different."

She hugged me tightly and buried her face into my chest. "Please don't sober up," she said, half laughing.

I wrapped my arms around her and quickly noticed that Roxie had disappeared. "I won't," I said. "Is it summer?"

"Yes," she let go of me. "I forgot to let you know. Hermione and Ron are coming over later."

"Together?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes lightly. "They ARE married, dad. Sean, their son, is coming over too."

I smiled. "I don't mean to be rude," I started. "But... how did your father and I have you?"

"Oh," she returned my smile. "Genetics or something. They combined both of your sperm and added it to a woman to give birth to me."

"You looked like your father," I said.

"Your eyes," she pointed.

Roxie stepped back into the room. "I don't mean to interrupt," she started. "But Mr. Snape would like to see you," she said to me.

I nodded and leaned over to pick up the only piece of the necklace I could find. I smiled at my daughter once more before I left the room. Severus was waiting for me outside of the room. His dark eyes stared into me. Was he mad? "I'm sorry," I said.

He chuckled as his hand slid into mine. "Don't be," he said. He started to walk. "It hurt... a lot when you and Mr. Malfoy... started. I knew eventually you'd come back to me," he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm tightly around my back.

"Well," I looked up to my husband and smiled. "I did say I'd love you... forever. I just don't know what made me think different."

"You know," he said. "I knew this girl once and she told me that she'd love me until death and long after."

"Victoria," I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "I never told you about her," he said.

I looked to him. "You did," I said. "When we were on the plane, remember?"

He laughed. "Harry I've never been on a plane. I'm scared shitless of those things," he said. I felt tears start to stream down my face. My experience never existed. "What's wrong Harry?"

I looked into his concerned eyes. "How did we meet Severus?" I said.

"You mean, when I knew I loved you?" he asked. "You defeated he who shall not be named and... you saved my life. He was after me because I betrayed him and you risked everything for me."

I hugged him. "I still would," I said.

"As I would for you," he brushed his nose against mine as he leaned in to kiss my anxious lips.


End file.
